he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am one with the molecules
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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