I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What a dumb baby whore.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
