Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
