Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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