The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Rumble strips road head = magical
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just pee around me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize