its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize