Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
