I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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