I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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