He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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