worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
