why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
