Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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