You really coming over, don't trick.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
