i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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