my vag is so smooth its legendary
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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