hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
