Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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