then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
