But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
