I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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