Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm really busy with my period
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