Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
