Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
where does the pee come out of this thing
do herpes really smell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
