after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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