On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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