You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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