College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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