We're facebook friends in real life
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
