what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
