Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
