Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't