It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.