I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.