I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize