Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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