Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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