i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
