the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My breath smells like gin and sadness
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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