Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
