Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
