She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
