fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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