You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
