...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
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Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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