Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
