well I can't set my house on fire every night
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
