i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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