if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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