It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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