She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
