I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
