Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
