You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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