you guys were way drunker than both of me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
