He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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