He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
