Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
