And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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