I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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