WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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