On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
