You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
