I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
