He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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