a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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